That was the video that was so traumatizing, I did learn to actively avoid others (although I ended up seeing the close-up of Charlie Kirk, which was horrifying - I despised the man, but in the very end it was a human being dying brutally at the hands of a weapon that I find terrifying). Philando Castile did not one single thing wrong, and the state decided he was not murdered by the man who ABSOLUTELY murdered him. It was essentially a decision that Castile's very existence as a Black man was a legitimate enough threat to justify killing him.
I wonder if I should get a gun, as a white woman. Am I safer, could I use that privilege to protect others? Or would I make it worse by adding more guns into the mix? I know how to use a gun, I grew up in redneck Virginia and my mom's partner and my uncle taught us how to use guns. But they were both SO strict about gun safety, which I really appreciate looking back. But still. I don't LIKE guns. I don't know. This is a bad day. I'm having a lot of swirling thoughts. Do I need to just get out of here? I think I really and truly need an exit strategy. Do I stay and fight? How?
